Chef’s Log 1: Of Lentils and Men

The humans on this side of the planet greatly perplex me with their tendency to restrict themselves to eating plants when there is such a wide (and delicious) selection of fauna at their disposal. On Planet Gastronomica, we consider anything less intelligent than ourselves worthy of being eaten. And I mean anything. Even the Spiked Two-headed Skunk Turtle (And it is not easy to work with, believe me). Now the Chinese, there’s a race with far more sense.
However, I will credit these Indians with one thing; they sure know how to cook their vegetables. What they do with lentil, in particular, (to use a colloquial expression) blows my mind. This thing the humans call ‘daal’ is to be found everywhere. As a staple, I must confess, I find it to be rather bland, yet there are some varieties, especially the black lentil kind, which treat my taste buds surprisingly well. Another delightfully innovative use of this legume is ‘daal vaada’ wherein it is fried in batter, then consumed with bread. Also, it further proves my hypothesis that deep-frying something in oil is the most effective way of making it taste phenomenal. Keep up the good work, Earthlings.

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